A:  This will depend on the chapter.  The South Valley chapter children range in age from infant to teenager.  In fact, the wide age range of our children is one of the many differences between our group and other mothers organizations.  In many other groups, the moms start to drop out as soon as their kids start school.

 

A:  NO! NO! and NO!

The only reason the Mormon/LDS church is mentioned is because, in Utah, Mormon culture happens to be the dominant culture.  The whole point to our organization is to help women who are experiencing isolation find a community that welcomes them.  In Utah, ONE reason women might experience isolation is because they are a non-mormon.  If we lived in another state/country/area the word Mormon could easily be replaced with Baptist, Buddist, Nudists, Farmers or whatever word describes the dominant culture.  Our goal is to create a community within a community for mothers who feel they are not part of, or not included by, the dominant local culture.

 

 

 

A:  No.  Everyone is welcome to join.  In fact, one of the groups co-founders is a native Utahn and non-practicing Mormon.

 

 

 

A:  We thought it might be helpful to have some of our members answer this question based on their personal experiences. Their responses are below.

The religion in Utah has never been an issue for our children.  We are not Mormons but we do have Mormon friends, I haven’t seen any problem at school with different beliefs or religion so far.  I think education and personality play an important role in people’s character, there are a lot of very nice Mormons, and there are always few unpleasant folks too, just like the people around the world.

But I do feel this religion press at work place since Mormons believe mothers should stay home with their children etc.

Utah has a lot of to offer for children, especially outdoor activities, but lack of quality museums or art.
     ----DYW

 

 

OK...If I didn't HAVE TO live in Utah, I wouldn't...however, I do and I do. Although we plan to get out ASAP. My husband's work also brought us here, for a few years.  I don't have school age children. So, I don't know how the school systems are, and hopefully won't have to find out, as we will be moving when my daughter is 2.  I do have some non-Mormon friends who were born and raised here.  I was talking to one of them the other night about the issues you brought up.  She is 26 now, but says growing up it was difficult in the schools.  She was brought up Catholic and says that a lot kids "weren't allowed to play with" her brother, sister and her.  And, like at block parties, they're family was never invited because it was well-known that they were not Mormon and they drank, etc.  Her sister and brother actually converted to Mormonism in high school because it seemed at the time the only way to truly fit in with their "friends" and be part of the mainstream.  Keep in mind this is only one story out of thousands of non-Mormons who live in Utah.

I didn't realize how heavy the LDS influence was on this community until I moved here.  I worked at a dental office with about 40 employees; I was the only one who was not LDS.  Although everyone was "nice," I always felt excluded from their conversations and never fully accepted.  That isn't to say I didn't try, because I did.  It is definitely a whole different culture down here, I'm not really sure why anyone would want to live here if they didn't have to.  But, that's just my own opinion.

Thank goodness I found this mom's group, because it has allowed me to meet and socialize with many different types of really genuinely good people. It is not an anti-Mormon group, but it offers a place where religion isn't the issue.  And, that is a nice feeling. I have also met a few good friends through my husband's work.  A lot of the families are in the same boat we are, down here because of work.

If you have to move here, SLC really does offer a multitude of activities for children and families.  There are some really beautiful parks, great rec centers. The shopping and dining are great, too.  The scenery really is awesome, too.  Although I am partial to the ocean, I can appreciate the mountains, too.  Park City isn't too far and that is a really nice place, as well.

So, yes you can not deny the stronghold that the LDS church holds on this community, however, you can work around it and find that Utah is an acceptable place to live if you must.  Good luck and hopefully we will be meeting you in the future.

     ----AB

 

 

For what its worth, here are some thoughts.

 

Life in Utah can truly be a good thing.  This is a safe, clean, wholesome place to live and raise a family.  It is not the most diverse place to live.  Yet there are many ways to create and find diversity for you and your family.  The thing about Utah is that you have to make that present in your life; it doesn't "just happen."

 

Speaking from the place that our family is from the East Coast -- allow yourself and your family an adjustment period.  For us, the biggest adjustment has been being so far from our extended family.  Not having the grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins, brothers or sisters near or in our everyday life.  We miss out on the casual gatherings and the family holidays.  I would honestly say we have had many a friend -- mainly Mormons -- truly not able to "understand" (or sometimes accept) how we can be "ok" with being so far away from family.

 

Utah is a good place to be if you are willing to make the extra efforts to create the life you and your family wants and needs.  In relationship to education, for example, as long as we live in Utah our family will send our children to private school because of factors such as the large class sizes, teachers not having resources, and the "track" system for class schedules.  We prefer and need a traditional school year schedule (in particular for our oldest daughter) and that is not offered in every school district.  This being said, we have and currently do utilize the public school system because of the services provided (at a preschool level) for our daughter with a speech and language disorder.  Ironically, just this past week I shared with the public school speech therapist that we needed to adjust my daughter's schedule next year because she will be attending the private school and she (the therapist) shared with me that both of her children attend the same private school (this from a public school employee).

 

Overall, there is a great deal of environmental diversity - mountains, lakes, desert.  The outdoor lifestyle of the state offers a great deal recreationally both for kids and adults.  The heritage of the state is completely wrapped around the LDS church.  In contrast, we have enjoyed our experience (going on 9 years here); however, we have missed the diversity of the East's heritage.

 

The reference DYW made about being a female working in Utah (I did for over 6 years) is much different than that of working in other states (my comparison is also with working in NY and CO).  It is a male dominated environment which takes due diligence to make your way through the systems (though it is possible) as a female worker.  I would say this has been my greatest adjustment from the fact that nowhere but in Utah, was religion discussed or brought up in the workplace.  It was a non-issue in the other places I have worked.  People in Utah (because there is one predominant religion) feel free and comfortable to ask such a question in the workplace.  In my personal opinion, it’s not appropriate or relevant to that environment and should not be discussed.  That being said - I had many a time where I felt like I was "justifying" my religious affiliation in a space that it should not have been a factor at all.

 

There are many things to consider when choosing to move to Utah.  However, I can honestly say we have enjoyed our time here.  Yes, our goal is to end up on the East Coast - that having EVERYTHING to do with wanting to be near family and we are not running out the door just yet.

 

The best piece of advice I can give -- there is good and there is bad in every place you can choose.  It’s your responsibility to make it the "best" it can be.  Otherwise, you will be miserable if you choose to "not want" to be where you are (Utah or otherwise).  These thoughts also come from the experience as a child who was moved around several times growing up.

 

Best of luck to you and your family in your decision making process.  And we would welcome you to come meet our group should your family choose to move to Utah.

 

Best Regards,

---JK
 

My family and I relocated to Utah in February from Los Angeles.  I too was concerned about the culture and what impact it would have on my children.  We currently live in Sandy and are very lucky to have neighbors who are not part of church.  I have found thus far that my children are not being treated differently.  In fact, the neighbors we do have that belong to the church are very friendly and welcoming.  My daughter has made friends at school and religion has not become an issue.  I have found that most of the people that I have interacted with are actually non-LDS.  I think it depends on where you choose to move to as well.  My husband was relocated for work here and we spent a lot of time talking to the people at his company to get ideas of where to move to.  I also, have found that there are many groups, such as this one, for those that are not part of church.  If you have any questions please feel free to ask and I would also, suggest visiting the area if you can before you move.  I hope this helps!

----LR